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Tuesday, May 29, 2012

"No one is ever truly ready for a baby."

You know the saying, "No one is ever truly ready for a baby."

That may be true, but as someone who was a very intentional parent (thanks to several years of infertility, due to my PCOS), I feel that I was as emotionally, intellectually and financially ready as one could be (of course, most of us could always stand to be more financially prepared, but we knew exactly how we would afford all the expenses that come with one little baby).  So when I stumbled upon an article titled You're So Not Almost Ready for a Baby, Even If You Think You Are, I had to have a read.   The author's Baby Squad Fitness Program rang so true that I was nearly in tears laughing as I read through it!  I particularly liked, "Socialize with friends in 18 second increments" and "Practice wresting a large, slippery fish three times a week."  As hard as I laughed, I still think I was fully prepared for my life to be dumped upside down and expected to not be reunited with my sanity or social life for one to two years. 

So, I started thinking, what things were I not prepared for?

I was not prepared for:
  • Twins!  We were warned that it was 30% possibility that we would have twins, but "no one is ever truly ready for twins!"  I joked that I hoped it was twins because, since it took me so long to get pregnant, I wasn't sure if I would ever get to do it again. 
  • Makayla's acid reflux and food allergies.  Maybe this was incredibly naive of me, but I thought acid reflux was something overweight, middle aged men got, not premature babies, and I never imagined that my own baby could be so allergic to my own breast milk.  Every single feeding for the first 7 months of Makayla's life was a totaly nightmare, until we finally found a dairy, corn and soy free formula (which cost $300 a month!) for her.
  • And her ocular albinism.
  • The ridiculous sap I would become.  I can't believe that after 18 months, I still just well up and burst into tears when I think of how lucky I am to have these crazy kids.  This is the very best age so far.  They are learning so much and are so excited by everything around them, because the whole world is still new to them.
  • The intense anxiety that came after I had the twins.  I joked that I had postpartum anxiety instead of depression, come to find out, it's actually very real!  I'm such a mellow and easy going person, and rarely even stress about the things that I should stress over, but in the months after I had Austin and Makayla I would have the craziest illogical thoughts about losing the babies and have intense, sweaty anxiety attacks.
  • My son work so diligently to destroy the house.  Sure, I've seen shitmykidsruined.com, or remember the story my parents told me over and over growing up and the time i put dark blue handprints all up and down the walls of our apartment in permanent marker, but I thought these were one offs. I didn't know that on a daily basis, my son would peel the molding off the walls, and tear up the hardwood floor pieces.  He's a two foot wrecking ball.
  • The odd, new shape my body would take.  After I stopped nursing, I was back to the weight I was before getting pregnant, but nothing fit right anymore.  Just when I had finally learned to love my curves, all of my lumps and bumps have shifted and taken up residence in new areas.
What were you not prepared for?


  1. What a sweet post. I also feel like I was ready. One miscarriage and forever of trying you are just ready and more ready the more time passes. I can easily well up about my life before him. ;-)

    Isn't it weird how our weight is re-distributed? I was excited to get down to a weight to wear the dress that I wore to my first Marine Corps Ball. I was so deflated that it would not go past my hips. I still have it "as a souvenir". 

  2.  "as a souvenir" Love that! =D

  3. Love it! And it's so true - we think we are prepared and then all you know what breaks loose! I really love this stage too - my boys turn 18 months in a few days - we have amazing, discovering the world moments, and then those moments when they just can't communicate and get so frustrated.
    Love them though - and loved your honesty here. Hoping our kids all grow up strong, healthy and happy!

  4. True, true... and like you thought, you would be so prepared. :) Great post.

  5.  What a great post I was not prepared for some of those same things especially the body. I was also not prepared to have a kid with ADHD on top of having all my short comings. My oldest is like me to the tea except like me when I was not at my best! While he had a huge heart and is brilliant sometimes he embodies too much of what I dislike in myself and I want so much more for him, it drives me to tears.

  6. I love that mobile shower, that's hysterical

    I wasn't prepared for the roller coaster of emotions. I am just not an emotional person and it was weird for me to feel so many strong emotions.

  7. love it and so true... life throws you some crazy curveballs

  8. Haha! That's a great comic!

    Yeah, just when you think, "I'm ready!" You get a curve ball. For me, the most unexpected part of getting pregnant was finding out we had quads on the way!

    Now that they are 15 months old, life is easier, but geesh! I couldn't stop shaking when the ultrasonographer told us what was coming out way!

    Oh! And I found you through the Multiples and More link up!


  9. Linking over from Multiples and More.  I love this post!   I think I was as ready as I could have been, given that I'd never been around babies or kids.  :)  I really didn't know those first three or four months would be so difficult...the sleep deprivation, and just the intense CONSTANT nature of caring for two babies.

    Our girls are almost 3 1/2 now, and it's so much fun!  I've been saying for close to two years now, "this" is what I envisioned!  ;)  And - at least so far - it just keeps getting better.

    Best to you and your sweet babies!