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Saturday, July 21, 2012

To Spank Or Not To Spank

I didn't want to write this post.  But I want this blog to be honest.  I want to share all the beautiful and ugly parts of motherhood and raising twins...

So here it is: I gave the twins their first spankings, two days ago.  Although I did feel badly about it, I also felt a great deal of relief, because it worked!

For a few months now, I have been having a really hard time with the kids.  They are on a never ending mission to destroy our home.  No, I don't mean make messes that I don't have time to clean (but, yes, that too), I mean they are literally ripping the blinds down from the windows, tearing the molding off the walls, and tearing down the baby gates.  As much fun as it is not to live in a home that looks like it's been hit by a tornado, that is really the least of my concerns.  I worry about them being hurt when the blinds come crashing down onto them, and the nails from the molding scrape their skin.

The pediatrician's solution is to pretend it's not happening because if you give them any sort of response, it just encourages the behavior.  Well, if we keep that up any longer there will not be a house left in a week's time.  So we have tried distracting them, and redirecting them, and telling them, "no."  Honestly, nothing has worked.  If I take them away, they just run right back to what they are doing, as soon as I let them go, laughing the whole way.

Finally, on Thursday, after way too much yelling and begging, I pulled them each away from the blinds and gave them a firm smack on the butt, over their diapers.  Austin was stunned and cried a little.  Makayla just scratched her head and looked at Austin.  But they stopped.  And they stopped for the rest of the day.

Butttttttttt, the next day they were at it again.  I am so sick of yelling and chasing them, and although, I am not exactly anti-spanking, it cannot be a way of life.  I cried, and let them do whatever they wanted.  I begged my husband to bring home dog crates, from work, to lock them in.  He refused, or thought I was joking.

So, I reached out to an online mom's group and begged them to tell me anything except "it's just a phase, it will pass."  Tell me how to survive until it does.  There were amazing supermoms with six kids, and twins moms and funny moms, and they gave me some great tips. 

Along with getting a sitter once a week so I that I can get a break, and getting them out of the house as much as possible, they pointed out that we may have too many toys for the kids.  Too many toys?  Who ever heard of such a thing?  Turns out, it makes a lot of sense.  They are totally overwhelmed by the choices, and because there are so many things, all the parts are never together, so some things are impossible to play with.

I hope that once we settle into our new place we can put some of these wonderful ideas to good use.  I am looking forward to downsizing the amount of toys we have and having less things to trip over all day and night!  And I sincerely hope that the spankings were a one time thing.

1 comment:

  1. I just found your blog and really enjoy it. I have 22 month old twins and reading this post was like a glimpse into my life. I can totally relate and completely understand what you are going through. I am always in search of advice from other moms of multiples and like you, are looking for more than the "it's just a phase, it will pass."
    Great blog - oh, and I too have thought about the dog crates ;)