Happiness Is Banner

Happiness Is Banner
Showing posts with label parenthood. Show all posts
Showing posts with label parenthood. Show all posts

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

"No one is ever truly ready for a baby."



You know the saying, "No one is ever truly ready for a baby."

That may be true, but as someone who was a very intentional parent (thanks to several years of infertility, due to my PCOS), I feel that I was as emotionally, intellectually and financially ready as one could be (of course, most of us could always stand to be more financially prepared, but we knew exactly how we would afford all the expenses that come with one little baby).  So when I stumbled upon an article titled You're So Not Almost Ready for a Baby, Even If You Think You Are, I had to have a read.   The author's Baby Squad Fitness Program rang so true that I was nearly in tears laughing as I read through it!  I particularly liked, "Socialize with friends in 18 second increments" and "Practice wresting a large, slippery fish three times a week."  As hard as I laughed, I still think I was fully prepared for my life to be dumped upside down and expected to not be reunited with my sanity or social life for one to two years. 

So, I started thinking, what things were I not prepared for?

I was not prepared for:
  • Twins!  We were warned that it was 30% possibility that we would have twins, but "no one is ever truly ready for twins!"  I joked that I hoped it was twins because, since it took me so long to get pregnant, I wasn't sure if I would ever get to do it again. 
  • Makayla's acid reflux and food allergies.  Maybe this was incredibly naive of me, but I thought acid reflux was something overweight, middle aged men got, not premature babies, and I never imagined that my own baby could be so allergic to my own breast milk.  Every single feeding for the first 7 months of Makayla's life was a totaly nightmare, until we finally found a dairy, corn and soy free formula (which cost $300 a month!) for her.
  • And her ocular albinism.
  • The ridiculous sap I would become.  I can't believe that after 18 months, I still just well up and burst into tears when I think of how lucky I am to have these crazy kids.  This is the very best age so far.  They are learning so much and are so excited by everything around them, because the whole world is still new to them.
  • The intense anxiety that came after I had the twins.  I joked that I had postpartum anxiety instead of depression, come to find out, it's actually very real!  I'm such a mellow and easy going person, and rarely even stress about the things that I should stress over, but in the months after I had Austin and Makayla I would have the craziest illogical thoughts about losing the babies and have intense, sweaty anxiety attacks.
  • My son work so diligently to destroy the house.  Sure, I've seen shitmykidsruined.com, or remember the story my parents told me over and over growing up and the time i put dark blue handprints all up and down the walls of our apartment in permanent marker, but I thought these were one offs. I didn't know that on a daily basis, my son would peel the molding off the walls, and tear up the hardwood floor pieces.  He's a two foot wrecking ball.
  • The odd, new shape my body would take.  After I stopped nursing, I was back to the weight I was before getting pregnant, but nothing fit right anymore.  Just when I had finally learned to love my curves, all of my lumps and bumps have shifted and taken up residence in new areas.
What were you not prepared for?

Friday, April 13, 2012

10 Things I Never Thought I'd Say

There are certain phrases that you never expect to have spill out of your own lips....and then you become a mom!  Here's a short list of the things that keep me laughing each day!

"I have twins."

"Wait, let me smell his/her butt!" 

"I just want to pee alone!" 


"Baby, no! Let's not eat rocks!" 


"Yes, I'd love to eat your foam, letter G, block and spit it in your face for you're never ending entertainment"


"Mommy's butt is not a bongo..."


"Sweetie, peanut butter does not go in your hair."


"I think I'd like to have a third baby."


"Did you just pee in your brother's bed?"


"I can pick my own nose, thank you!"

And I'm not quite 17 months in yet, so I'm sure the really good stuff is still to come!  What are the phrases that motherhood (or fatherhood) surprised you with?