Happiness Is Banner

Happiness Is Banner

Saturday, July 21, 2012

To Spank Or Not To Spank

I didn't want to write this post.  But I want this blog to be honest.  I want to share all the beautiful and ugly parts of motherhood and raising twins...

So here it is: I gave the twins their first spankings, two days ago.  Although I did feel badly about it, I also felt a great deal of relief, because it worked!

For a few months now, I have been having a really hard time with the kids.  They are on a never ending mission to destroy our home.  No, I don't mean make messes that I don't have time to clean (but, yes, that too), I mean they are literally ripping the blinds down from the windows, tearing the molding off the walls, and tearing down the baby gates.  As much fun as it is not to live in a home that looks like it's been hit by a tornado, that is really the least of my concerns.  I worry about them being hurt when the blinds come crashing down onto them, and the nails from the molding scrape their skin.

The pediatrician's solution is to pretend it's not happening because if you give them any sort of response, it just encourages the behavior.  Well, if we keep that up any longer there will not be a house left in a week's time.  So we have tried distracting them, and redirecting them, and telling them, "no."  Honestly, nothing has worked.  If I take them away, they just run right back to what they are doing, as soon as I let them go, laughing the whole way.

Finally, on Thursday, after way too much yelling and begging, I pulled them each away from the blinds and gave them a firm smack on the butt, over their diapers.  Austin was stunned and cried a little.  Makayla just scratched her head and looked at Austin.  But they stopped.  And they stopped for the rest of the day.

Butttttttttt, the next day they were at it again.  I am so sick of yelling and chasing them, and although, I am not exactly anti-spanking, it cannot be a way of life.  I cried, and let them do whatever they wanted.  I begged my husband to bring home dog crates, from work, to lock them in.  He refused, or thought I was joking.

So, I reached out to an online mom's group and begged them to tell me anything except "it's just a phase, it will pass."  Tell me how to survive until it does.  There were amazing supermoms with six kids, and twins moms and funny moms, and they gave me some great tips. 

Along with getting a sitter once a week so I that I can get a break, and getting them out of the house as much as possible, they pointed out that we may have too many toys for the kids.  Too many toys?  Who ever heard of such a thing?  Turns out, it makes a lot of sense.  They are totally overwhelmed by the choices, and because there are so many things, all the parts are never together, so some things are impossible to play with.

I hope that once we settle into our new place we can put some of these wonderful ideas to good use.  I am looking forward to downsizing the amount of toys we have and having less things to trip over all day and night!  And I sincerely hope that the spankings were a one time thing.

Monday, July 16, 2012

Big Changes!


We're moving!  And I don't mean across town, or to the neighboring city.  We are making the big move from the San Francisco Bay Area, to the Palm Springs area, to be closer to my husband's family.

Over the last two years my husband's parents have not only come up every three months to visit and get to know their grandchildren, but they, along with my husband's sister, have also made a combined five trips up just to help when we have had our hands more than full, like the week the twins came home from the NICU, during my two gall bladder surgeries, and our last trip to Ohio.  They will be coming up again in just a few weeks, while I take Makayla to Ohio for her surgery, to help with Austin, so that my husband doesn't have to miss work.

It was during our flight home from Ohio, in April, that we realized how much they have been a help to us since the twins were born, and how silly it is that they have to come up here every time we need and extra set of hands.  Although we had talked about it for years, that's when we decided that we were going to make moving near his family a reality.

This isn't to say that we don't have amazing people in our lives here who have helped us many times.  My dad is just 10 miles away, and we have four very close friends that live in the same city we do now who have been very good to us, but they work, and have lives of their own that they are responsible for. It will be so hard to leave them.  I am so sad.  These are people who have been in our lives for all or most of the 12 years we have been together.  They have been our family.  I hope that never changes.  A seven hour drive isn't so bad... And if they won't come see us, they will at least go visit Disneyland, and all I need is an excuse to go to Disneyland (I hear So Cal residents get discount tickets too!).  Flights from LA to the Bay Area are frequent and cheap, so I do plan to be able to visit often.

As long as our two families live far apart, there will never be a perfect situation.  And as sad as we are to leave our wonderful tight knit group and family, we have lots of things that we are excited about.  Did I mention that So Cal residents get discount tickets to Disneyland?  My husband grew up in that area and is looking forward to raising his children with the kinds of memories and experiences that he had as a child.  As it looks right now, we will be living across the street from my sister-in-law, and just across town from my husband's parents.  When his parents used to live up here, we had family dinner with them at least once a week.  That is something that I have missed every single day since they left (oh my god, did I really just tear up??) and I look forward to returning to that tradition.  With all the help they have been to us, I think we owe them more then a couple of dinners!

However, I have lived all my 30 years just a few miles East of San Francisco.  This is going to be a big change for me and everything I am used to.  Do you know this crazy place we are moving to gets up to 115 degrees, at times?  I will need a part time job just to pay for the air conditioning!  I keep asking my husband about where we are moving, as bizarre things pop in my head.  Last week I asked if there were parks down there.  He laughed at me and reminded me that we are moving to the desert, not the moon.  I guess that means the desert has parks.

Please hang in there with me while we tackle this overwhelming move.  I'll update when I can, and if you don't hear from me I'm shoulders deep in moving boxes or having and anxiety attack!

Monday, July 9, 2012

25 Years

From left to right: Me, Lil Sister Amber, Aubrey
As of this summer, I have had my best friend in my life for 25 years.  This is truly a milestone worth recognition!  How many people even manage to stay married for that long?  We have been a part of each others' lives since we were five.  

We met the summer before first grade at our day care and we were immediately inseparable. Apparently, too inseparable.  More than a few times, we were told by the lady who ran our daycare that couldn't play together anymore because we were "too clique-ish".  I don't remember ever excluding anyone from playing with us.  We weren't mean girls, we were just always together.  I can't think of a single memory from early childhood that she isn't a part of.

 We held a sidewalk sale once, and sold art work we had made.  Lemonade stands are for the boring.  We made $1.25 that day. 

There were countless sleep overs. All night dance-a-thons. Laser disc movie nights. Roller skate dates.  Family vacations.  Ghost hunting.  Matching outfits for Twins school spirit day.  Plans for a road trip across the country after high school and for matching tattoos. And 14 birthday parties....

And then I moved.  Just before the seventh grade, my family moved about 20 minutes away.  Sure that doesn't sound too far, but when you can't drive yet, that may as well be out of state.  Determined to stay as close as ever, we talked everyday, and we mailed each other the notes we used to pass in class.  We spent almost every weekend together, and went to each others' school dances and proms.  Once we started driving and graduated high school, it was a lot easier.

We have been there for every single one of life's big events, and every heartbreak.  There is truly no one else in the world who knows all the events of my life the way she does.  She may be the only person, besides my husband, who can keep my complicated extended family straight.

She is the sister I never had.

We stood next to each other at each of our weddings.  A year and a half ago, she was there when my life changed forever, as my twerpies made their debut.  And yesterday, she welcomed her first baby, such a handsome little boy, into this world.  I am so happy for her and her family, and  am so looking forward to this new chapter in our lives.

I love you, Mrs. Harkey!

Friday, July 6, 2012


I've been all but absent from blogging for a few weeks.  You could say, I've been a bit preoccupied.  Not only have I been working to get As Makayla Sees It up and running and to shape it into the tool and resource I want it to be for other parents, you may have noticed that Happiness Is got a little bit of a makeover too!

In addition to our new look, we are now featuring ads for your blog or small business.  To celebrate we are giving away 10 of our small ad spots! 

All you need to do is visit the Sponsor tab at the top of our page and select the "Small" ad spot.  Once you have uploaded your ad, you can enter the promo code GRANDOPENING for 100% off your small ad.  This is on a first come, first serve basis, so hurry! And if the code is no longer working, it means you missed out...but do not fret, a small ad is only $7 or you could snag one of our large feature ads for only $20.